Chris Pine on his character's hippie look in 'Poolman'

Like Chinatown without stakes or The Big Lebowski without laughter, Poolman is a neo-noir comedy that loves crooked, cruddy Los Angeles.

Chris Pine, a local son and third-generation actor (his dad Robert portrays a talking iguana in the film), created this vanity project.

Captain Kirk 2.0 may be a more beautiful, scruffy hippie than Jeff Bridges in Lebowski. Fortunately, the Dude could speak.

Darren Barrenman, Pine's title caretaker of the small Tahitian Tiki apartment court's swimming pool, waves his hands and bulges his eyes while spouting overblown speech.

In between meditating underwater and seeing threatening trees, Barrenman disrupts City Council sessions with passionate requests to rescue ancient buildings from greedy developers and bring back the red car trolleys. 

Barrenman, who still watches Chinatown on VHS, becomes a detective in a confusing world of drought, Golden Girls drag performers, and egg cream sodas.

Barrenman's fiancée Susan (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a Pilates instructor who wants to marry him but can't quit sleeping with his buddies.

They also assist his research; anytime the mystery thread begins going somewhere, a protracted antic.

Only non-comedian Ray Wise of Twin Peaks delivers a well-timed quip in this disorganized picture.